Here & Now

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By Likita Gowda

Anxious, worried and stressed,

I often found myself everywhere but not here.

Not in this present moment.

I was either regretting past decisions,

worrying about an unknown future,

or constantly wanting to be everywhere else, but not here.

The rush to reach a destination, the eagerness to achieve a goal 

The impatience to jump from one goal to the next

That’s all that I cared about.

I was ignorant of what was here & now. 

Like it didn’t matter or deserve my attention.

Almost as if I was blinded by a veil of illusion that didn’t even let me acknowledge the present moment. 

Be it the good times or the bad, my mind was always elsewhere 

Either thinking about the next plan or finding a solution for something that was not right 

I wondered if this is what adulthood felt like, if this is how it meant to feel grown up.

And this cycle only grew more vicious and tiring day after day

 

Until it exhausted me.

Until it overwhelmed me.

Until it broke me.

 

In hindsight, this was a blessing in disguise, a turning point of sorts

As it lead me to resources, people & situations in life which told me what was right

It reminded me of the days when I wasn’t running away from the here & now

The days when moments meant more, were felt more and they were lived to the fullest.

Sunsets and bursts of laughter, tears of joy and pain, dances in the rains to rides in trains

Everything was honored for what it was and while it was happening 

There was no rush, there was only presence.

 

Life makes complete sense now because I have re-learnt the real and only way to live, 

something that I had forgotten in the midst of chasing goals.

It’s simple. Not easy, but simple.

It’s just fully living in the now. 

The past isn’t here, nor is the future. What’s here is now.

The present is all we have and it is all that we will ever have.

The mind will wander from thoughts of the past to worries of the future, but I must stay here. 

This moment is calling. Right here, right now. 

 

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