7 Funny Things No-One Tells you about Being Married

Today, most youngsters think marriage is all white lace and promises, and a bed of roses. Well, of course, it’s pretty freakin’ awesome but there are so many things you probably won’t realise until you’re actually married. Well, I’m not trying to scare you or be that aunt who is going to bombard you with unsolicited advice. Being a young woman who got married recently, I was prepared about a lot of things ahead of getting into this great institution. While some said it won’t always be passionate and thrilling, some told me there may be days I might go to bed being mad at my partner. Honestly speaking, these are a few things I was quite prepared for. These are the things my parents, friends and other people told me. However, what no-one really told me are so many funny and weird things about being married and mainly about living with a boy.

Truth Bombs about Marriage & Living with a Boy

It’s been over a month since I’m married, and I have discovered some fun yet bizarre things which I think I should be sharing with all of you. Don’t look at it as a comprehensive instruction manual for all the things that might happen over the course of your relationship. Instead, look at it as married-life titbits you should just know. Every couple and their experiences are different. For example, you may have just discovered your man’s crazy knuckle cracking habit.

Brace yourself as I’m about to share seven of my weird yet funny experiences.

PS: Don’t judge!

1.      Get Ready for Netflix Debates

After a long, tiring day at work, both my partner and I sit down to catch up on our favourite shows. We spend more time discussing what to watch on Netflix than actually watching anything. I’m a rom-com fan and he loves thrillers. Get ready for hours of debating between your favourite shows. I have to be honest, Netflix is a huge part of a marriage. “Netflix and Chill” is real only if you and your partner agree to watch the same thing.

2.      He may be Messy, you may be Tidy

I’ve realised, no two people in a relationship are the same. I’m someone who arranges clothes by the colour and type of fabric, and ensures every corner of my room is clean and clutter-free. However, my partner is the opposite. There are times I literally run into his shoes, find his wet towel lying on the bed or his clothes thrown on the floor – right next to the laundry basket. It definitely does take a while to get used to these quirks. Sometimes we laugh it off, the other times we simply have pillow fights.  

3.      The Toilet Seat up or Down is a Regular Debate

Men really need to understand that once they’re married they have a woman living with them. In this one month of being married, my husband simply refuses to put the toilet seat down. Sometimes I wonder if he is just being mean or lazy. Dear dudes, if you’re listening, remember to put the seat back down after peeing. Honestly, I didn’t know we’d end up debating about such things. Thus, beware!

4.      Football Season Woes are Real

My man loves football, and I’m definitely not a “football-watching wife”. I thought married life would be a constant couple hangout, but I was wrong. And, the last thing I’d want is to make watching football a couple activity. Instead of being mean and irritated, I simply do my own thing. As my hubby catches a late-night football game, I simply read a book, catch up on Instagram or play a game. The last time there was a football game, the night ended with a pillow fight. Sigh!

5.      People around you assume your Surname has Changed

This isn’t related to my dear husband but society in general. I find it extremely weird and annoying that people assume you’ve changed your surname after marriage. Few days into my marriage, I’ve actually had people address me by my new surname. Well, not that I don’t want to do it myself, but please give me some time. All the time, I find myself explaining to people that I have my maiden surname and my husband’s surname in my name.

6.      You will have to meet a lot of Relatives

In India, when you’re just married, close family and relatives tend to call you over for a meal. While I was aware of something like this happening, nobody gave me a disclaimer that I would have to meet A LOT OF RELATIVES. Girls, pull up your socks. After you’re married, you will have to meet many people, and there are some that might even haunt you with weird questions. Be prepared to answer them all. While some might welcome you with open arms, others may simply snub you. Whatever it is, enjoy all flavours.

7.      His Snores may be the Music to your Ears

Everybody snores. Even I do. But when my partner snores, even the walls rattle (just kidding). After marriage, I realised, I have a new night-time soundtrack. It actually becomes quite hilarious at times when I try to close his mouth. And, if you’re someone like me who is an incredibly light sleeper, you’ll have no choice but to put up with such behaviour.

When you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone, not everything is a fairy tale. Every day is a new experience. There may be instances when you feel like the honeymoon phase is over and you might even hit an all-time low. However, this is just a very small part of it. There are bigger chunks of happier memories that makes marriage worthwhile and gives you a chance to be a better version of yourself each day.

If you’re someone who got married recently too, I’d love to hear all the funny yet weird things you discovered about your better half.