Emotional Changes a Woman Experiences Post-Marriage

Marriage marks a new chapter in the lives of both men and women. It’s pretty exciting too as two individuals decide to spend the rest of their lives together, share a home, and have children. While the life of a man almost remains the same and doesn’t change much, marriage can be a life-altering journey for a woman. Several transitions occur at a physical, emotional and mental level. Well, don’t let this article scare you. Once you’re married, you will slowly learn to embrace these changes. As someone who got married recently, I am often asked, “How is married life?” My answer usually is “yes it’s different”. It’s different because now my husband and I manage our own finances, spend most of our time together, and fight for silly things like the TV remote *laughs*.

Irrespective of whether you’re staying with your in-laws or not, marriage does bring a lot of changes to your life. Especially in a country like India where marriage is often referred to as the “union of families”. In our society, women are required to “fit in”, compromise and let go of their personal sanctuary.

Marriage – How the Life of a Woman Changes?

In certain families, there is pressure to look and behave in a certain way. This pressure to participate in these norms can lead to several changes at an emotional level. Well, honestly speaking, leaving your home, routine and comfort isn’t easy. There are some who even relocate to a new city or are required to change their name. Women experience several changes post-marriage which can be overwhelming and daunting at the same time. Here are some of them:

• Change in Identity

One of the biggest emotional stressors post-marriage is a change in identity. There is a certain identity perception the family and society has in general. Even the world around them expects them to behave and act in a certain way post-marriage. They are often viewed in unison with their husband and not as individuals. This can make one lose confidence in themselves completely. When one changes their maiden name or surname, one goes through an unexpected identity crisis. The best way to avoid this is by having faith in yourself and becoming more confident. Engage in healthy conversation with your husband whenever you feel like you’re not fitting in. Bottling up your feelings will only make you feel worse. However, remember to have this conversation with him peacefully. Getting agitated won’t help the situation.

• Mood Swings

Post-marriage, there will be hormonal fluctuations. This can even be followed by unintentional weight gain. All this coupled together can cause mild to severe mood swings. You might tend to get more irritable towards your partner and certain situations. There might be even spells during the day when you experience highs and lows. In fact, a lot of newly married women experience post-marriage depression. Some of the symptoms during this phase include restlessness, crying excessively and persistent anxiety. The best way to get over feeling empty and hollow is by keeping yourself occupied. I am saying this out of experience. Two weeks into my marriage, I resumed work, and it felt great. Usually, women take a long absence from work after their wedding. While it might work for some people, it’s definitely not something I wanted.

• Change in your Decision Making Style

When you’re unmarried, decision making is fairly simple. You only have to think for yourself. However, once you’re married, expect this thing to change. Remember, you live with someone now and have a new family too. This means, you can’t crash at a friend’s place or go out drinking with your gang whenever you like. Spontaneous plans might have to take a backseat as you’ll need to consider what your husband wants to do too. You might even be required to make appearances at family dinners and holidays even if you don’t want to. Thus, after marriage, you and your spouse will be involved in each other’s decisions and vice-versa.

• You’ll want more Alone Time

You’ve probably heard about the “honeymoon” phase post-marriage, right? Well, some people say it lasts a year. Well, according to me, it only lasts a month. Once reality hits, cuddling and spending time with your hubby 24/7 will take a backseat. If it’s a love marriage, you’ll get out of this phase quicker. Priorities will change and alone time will tend to become more precious. I work from home while my husband stays out. Thus, I look forward to the time I get in the afternoon. Initially, I used to feel guilty about wanting alone time. However, I soon realised that both of us need our space. There are even days when he and I go out with our own set of friends or spend time with our respective families. In fact, I’ve noticed that this alone time brings us closer.

• You Learn to Forgive Better

No marriage is a bed of roses. There will be fights and tear bouts. The way you navigate the ship is the secret to a successful marriage. Instead of going to bed angry, communicate with your partner. Even if there is a disagreement, find a common ground. Don’t let either of your egos come in the way. Instead, forgive and forget. While it’s easier said than done, over a period of time, you will learn to forgive better. Holding on to a petty fight will only hamper your relationship and weaken the bond. Try and laugh it off, and you’ll definitely find yourself in a better space.

After marriage, change is an uninvited but unavoidable guest. While these are some of the emotional changes you will experience, be prepared for more responsibilities, late nights, new experiences and new priorities. Marriage isn’t as bad as people portray it to be. Preparedness can go a long way in ensuring you have a happy married life. Being realistic will also help you deal with the various changes marriage brings with it.