How to Leave a Toxic Relationship?

How does one end a toxic relationship? Do you just up and go one fine day? Do you give your partner “enough” notice before you go? If you have identified that you are in a toxic relationship, tried to make it better, and are now ready for action, then this blog is just for you.

We now come to how do you actually end or get out of a toxic relationship.There is no guideline to this. Each person will have a different way to handle this. The bottom line is to make that positive change and make sure it doesnt bring in more negativity. So here are a few things on everything you should think through before leaving a toxic relationship and how best to handle what comes after.

1. Accept The Situation

Acceptance is the first step toward letting go. Do not let your love for your partner overpower the toxicity they bring into your life. Accept this phase of life and know that you deserve better. Never mistake what you've experienced for what you're worth. Giving up takes the greatest amount of courage. Prepare yourself that you are not giving up because you have lost, but in fact the partner has disappointed you in not meeting your expectations.  

2. Financial Independence

Think and start working on achieving financial independece. Write down essential expenses and ensure that you have a backup of at least 4-6 months to have a buffer to get on your own feet. 

3. Plan the First Step

Build a safety net. This simply means planning where will stay tonight and the next few nights. What will you carry with you? Carry the bare minimum cause you dont want too take much of emotional baggage with you. Assume you are pressing the reset button. 

4. Set Financial Goals

How will you support yourself after the buffer period? Do you need to develop any new skills? Can you do that while you are planning your exit? If you haven’t worked in a while take up a job that will give you some experience, full time, part time, anything. Many websites focus on jobs for returning moms or housewives. Use social media, join groups and communities on facebook, etc, improve your network and the chances of getting a job.

5. Garner Support

Rope in your family or a close friend on your decision. It will be absolutely important for you to have that one person you can turn to for emotional support. They will be instrumental in helping you through this process. You can also join our community on forum.girls.buzz where you can post your questions anonymously and talk to others who have been in your situation. 

6  Temporary Separation

Pursue a complete no-contact with your partner for minimum 21 Days. 21 is just a number - just enough time to experience the change in yourself. Stay occupied and when tired or low, give yourself permission to snuggle and embrace your heavy heart. Evaluate your mental, physical, and emotional health before and after this 21-day detox. This puts you in a good position to decide what is best for your future. 

7. Stay Strong

Your partner will emotionally blackmail you, call out to your love for them, make tall promises and much more to get you to not leave. While everyone deserves a second chance, you are the only one who will be able to judge if that second chance is deserving. Stay strong, think through and then decide.

8. Seek Counseling

Remember you have been through a devastating situation yourself. Reach out to relationship support groups or counselors. A counselor can also help you stay on track with your decision and meet your goals. If you dont have the financial resources then there are many free local support groups that you can be a part of. We will cover that in one of our upcoming videos.

9 .Take Your Time

Leaving and recovering from a toxic relationship will take effort and time. This is going to affect your self-esteem and mental health. Don’t rush into another relationship. Take time for yourself. Recover, make time for hobbies, work on a pet project or a business or go for a trip.

10. Stay Safe

At any given point, understand that your actions may not necessarily have the reaction you expect. Your partner may resort to stalking, misbehaving or even being dangerous. If you feel threatened, inform your local authorities/support groups. For a few days, plan everything so you can be safe within crowds, avoid late nights and be around your closed ones.

11. Seek professional help

While the need may not be immediate, you will have to deal with the legal issues as well. Ending a marriage, child support, alimony, distribution of assets are just few of the things. An experienced family law attorney is your go to at this time.

These days will be awful, painful, messy, and devastating. But the end of this journey will bring you to the beginning of the next chapter of your life. The journey of healing will be much longer than these intital days, just hold on to yourself with love and courage. 

Signing off now, let us know in the comments how this blog helped you and we wish you all the best in your effort to reclaim your life. More power to you!