Marriage is Not the Ultimate Goal of Life!

The life of a single woman is hard. You enter any party or social gathering, and every aunty wants to know when you’re tying the knot? What’s with society’s obsession over marriage? Why can’t they just let us live in peace. It’s definitely not a milestone that has to be achieved. I’ve been lucky that way. My parents never put pressure on me to get married. They let me live my life the way I wanted and on my own terms. When I felt like I had found the “man of my dreams”, I decided to settle down. Not because someone forced me into it but because I wanted to. However, I will reiterate, marriage isn’t the ultimate goal of life. Every woman has a different story and wants different things from life. It’s sad that till today, most families encourage their daughters to believe that marriage is the end goal. As women, we are expected to dream of our wedding day from the time we’re little girls.

Isn’t there more to one’s life than being with a man and serving him just like society wants us to do?

I am not against the concept of marriage. I am married and I think it’s beautiful. I mainly have a problem with the unwritten rules’ society has for all of us. They dictate the timeframe by which a person should be married only to please other people. No matter the accomplishments of a single person, it will always boil down to; is your son/daughter married? If you thought you could get married and shut down all the noise from relatives, I am sorry to disappoint you but their next question would be – do you have a child? They will never be happy and if you get down to pleasing them, you will never be happy.

Also, there is a difference between marriage being a goal or a desire. If your parents desire to see you married sometime in life, it’s not a bad thing. However, if they say it is a goal, the final destination or an end of a race, it can be destructive.

5 Reasons why Marriage isn’t the Ultimate Goal

• Marriage does not help you find your true identity

If you’re a single woman, don’t believe that your existence will be fulfilled by becoming someone’s wife. Remember, your husband or marriage isn’t your identity. Marriage will definitely add a new dimension to your life. However, if you want to earn respect for yourself, you need to become self-sufficient and be able to manage your own finances. Let go of the thought-process that marriage alone will help you find the joy you’ve been looking for. Instead, you can find joy in other things too such as a pet or hobby.

• Being single doesn’t make you “lesser than” the married ones

Many single women think that singleness is a state of deprivation. Society views single people as less deserving and less mature. Well, let me tell you, this is a lie. Marriage might provide a different lens through which you can experience life but it isn’t the end all of everything. Consider yourself worthy because of your accomplishments not because of marital status. In fact, even if you’re unmarried, you may be happier off than the married ones.

• Age is just a number

You’ll hear a lot of people tell you you’re “coming of age” if you’re unmarried. Honestly, life doesn’t come with a rulebook. There is no such rule that one should get married in their mid-twenties and have children before turning 30. These thoughts will only prevent you from leading a fulfilling life. If you follow the timeline and standards set by society, you will have to compromise for the rest of your life. Therefore, age is just a number. Whether you’re 30 or 40, get married only when you feel like you’ve found the one.  

• Marriage might change your dreams

Whether you like it or not, marriage can change your dreams. Though families today are broadminded and allow their daughters-in-law to pursue their dreams, sometimes there can be a setback. If you don’t want your life to come to a complete standstill, it’s okay to give more importance to other dreams and goals. Marriage can wait. If you have any aspirations and dreams, pursue them first. I know someone who got married in her early twenties, saying she would go abroad for her higher-education after she got married. At that point, I knew she was making a mistake but I didn’t want to tell her as she seemed pretty excited to start this new chapter in her life. It’s now been six years since she’s married and her dream of going abroad to study is still a dream. It’s better to realise your dreams before tying the knot as this gives you greater freedom.

• It’s a part of life, not life

Many of us are asked to treat marriage as the ultimate goal of life. After college, the idea of finding a soulmate is planted in our heads. Family members start telling us that this is the right time to get “hitched”. What no one really tells us is that just like education or career, marriage too is just a part of life. It’s just a small fragment. You are the creator of your own happiness. Marrying someone will only add to your existing world, it will not give you some life-changing knowledge.

Conclusion

Plenty of blogs have been written on marriage not being the ultimate goal of life. Despite this, changing the existing dynamics of society have been difficult. However, as individuals, we can change our attitude. There is much more that you can achieve in life than getting married.

This is an important topic that needs to be discussed. What are your views on the same?