THE NEW INDIAN WOMAN: A MYTH

Sheetal gets up at 6 A.M. in the morning. She doesn't wait for a glance at the mirror. Quickly, she ties up her hair into an 'extremely messy' bun, splashes water and gets into her imminent battleground, the kitchen. The session in kitchen takes up about 2 hours, with variety of milk, tea, tiffin, breakfast for her family. In the middle of that, she wakes up her daughter Ritu, and her husband, Anuj, greets her in laws who returns from morning walk. While giving them tea, she listens to her mother-in-law talk about how fortunate Mrs. Gupta, another regular morning walker, is. Reason? Well, Mrs. Gupta's daughter-in-law is such an obedient and responsible girl, she takes care of her family throughout the whole day, doesn't leave even an inch for complain. Sheetal knows the undertone of this conversation. An obedient and responsible housewife is an ideal daughter-in-law for the society, not a working woman like her. Packing Ritu's school bag and tying a rubber band to her hair, Sheetal sprints towards the door along with Ritu, answering the incessant honking of Ritu's pool car. After seeing off Ritu, Sheetal helps Anuj with his office files, laptop and sees him off. Thereafter Sheetal sets off for her work at an NGO.

Sheetal comes home at 6 in the evening. She is tired, yet happy. Her NGO will be organising an awareness programme for sex workers, the next day. It will be a very special day for everyone in the NGO, and they have to come early to office the next day with so many things to prepare. She quickly freshens up and sets off for her next session at the kitchen. She prepares pakoras and tea, helping Ritu with her homework. As the door bell rings, Sheetal opens the door with a smile, finds a frowning Anuj standing. "How was your day Anuj? Come, I have prepared hot pakoras and tea," Sheetal says. Anuj frowns, " It was a very stressful day today. Tomorrow I have an important meeting at office, I have to leave early. " As Sheetal prepares dinner, her phone rings. Ritu's pool car driver calls to inform that next day he won't be able to come. Sheetal is in a predicament. She comea to Anuj, "Listen, pool car bhaiya called up. He cannot come tomorrow. Can you drop Ritu to school?" Anuj's eyes are glued to the laptop screen, he replies, " I have an important meeting tomorrow, I can't go. You drop Ritu." Sheetal pleads, " Please Anuj, I have an important event at NGO... ". Anuj looks surprised," Seriously? Shouldn't Ritu be your priority, what kind of a selfish mother are you? I have allowed you to work that doesn't mean you neglect our daughter..."

This is not only the story of Sheetal, but this Sunday story is a story of every new Indian woman. Let me first explain who is the new Indian woman? The new woman, is educated, works, and earns her livelihood. She is economically independent and a woman who oives life by her choice. Or is supposed to do so. But their are too many "conditions apply" to this new woman. Beneath the veneer of the independent image, there is a dark truth. The truth is reflected in the above story of Sheetal.

Woman like Sheetal faces 3 important issues in their life:

1) THE DOUBLE BURDEN:

Originally coined by Arlie Hochchild, the word means the double workload of woman where she does both paid work and unpaid care job. According to an OECD Study conducted in 2014, women does two to ten times more hours of work than men. The reason is simple. Women was originally "destined" to do house work, her office is supposed to be kitchen, desk is supposed to be the oven etc. But then after long feminist movements, society had to adjust a little bit. So it came up with a good alternative : you can "work outside home" if you also " work at home". Thus, the working woman doesn't rest like her husband, who garners sympathy when he gets home from office, instead the lady is often mocked saying, " If you are so exhausted, stop going to office, who has asked you to? "

A World Bank Study in 2017 says around 20 million woman left her job after marriage. The reason is very clear: a woman at her in laws' has to deliver or perish, there is no other option!

2) NO DIGNITY OF LABOUR:

A woman doesn't enjoy the dignity of her labour at home. Unpaid care work that she renders at home isn't bound by social security. She doesn't have pay remuneration, work hours, leaves. A couple of days before, Mr. Shashi Tharoor had raised a pertinent question whether housewife should be given a minimum wage, which gave rise to lot of debate. Nothing happened of course, because these debates never get solved for obvious reasons. In a society where even after guarantee from the Constitution for equal pay for man and woman, woman have to speak up for equal pay, wages for homemaker are a distant dream to be achieved.

3) THE IDEA OF IDEAL MOTHER:

The society mediated and Bollywood propagated image of an ideal mother is one who is at service for her family 24*7. She is forever smiling, forever sacrificing and keeps her family above everything. Anything which doesn't fit this image, is termed as "selfish", "not like a mother". Thus, whenever a child falls sick, it is the mother who stays up at night, or takes leave from her work. I remember, particularly a scene from the movie Panga, where Kangana Ranaut says,"Ma ki koi sapne nahi hote". Yes, that is how the society has drew a rosy picture of the mother. She is a "devi" but not a mortal, she doesn't have her own dreams.

Thus, by screaming our lungs out on 8th March (International Women's Day) about why women are not being able to reach the pedestal of empowerment that we wanted them to, we are doing nothing significant. Only by being a part of the struggle the "new woman" faces, by helping her to stride it, by extending a caring hand, the "new woman" will be a reality.

Samriddhi Chatterjee