There is more to life than just being a Housewife

Sukanya was in class X, and a new teacher asked the students to share their aspirations. Each student rose from their seat and spoke of the field in which they would like to pursue their career. But Sukanya just stood up and smiled at the teacher when her companions wanted to qualify themselves to become doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc..; Sukanya wanted only wanted one thing to marry and her husband to provide for her.

When the teacher continued to ask her, she finally said, "I want to be a housewife." The teacher was shocked at her reply but only shook her head in disbelief before proceeding to the next student. 

Sukanya's father was a learned man who believed in getting educated and pursuing a career. He spoke to Sukanya numerous times, but unfortunately, his words failed to impact her.  

Sukanya's Dad kept educating her even after graduation and helped her secure her first job. But unfortunately, all his efforts failed when Sukanya fell in love and decided to get married. Although her parents told her not to go ahead with the marriage but reconsider it, Sukanya was adamant.

She stayed at home and looked after her household. Her husband lived with his parents, and she had to take care of all the needs of the house. It was one routine wake up in the morning, make breakfast, wash up, shop for groceries, cook lunch, wash up again and make tea, and finally make dinner. "Household work is never ending; being a housewife is difficult." Sukanya thought. And that's when she remembered what her mother so often said, "Thank God I am working, those hours at work I get to sit down at least, if I were to be at home, they would be spent standing and working in the house." 

To make matters worse, every member of her husband's family went to work. Only Sukanya, her ailing mother-in-law, and the maid stayed at home. As days went by, she felt that everyone took her for granted. She had to be at home to prepare every meal and take care of the house, and if she spoke of going out with her friends, it was always met with an objection. Why today, who will be at home, etc. Sukanya thought, "I thought being a housewife meant sitting at home doing nothing while here it is never ending work, and worse of all, no one values what you are doing!"

For the first time in their life, Sukanya started regretting her great plan for her life! She had absolutely no time for herself. She didn't have time for anything. She was a beautiful girl who kept up with the latest fashion and was a regular in the beauty parlor. But that was before marriage; now, there was no time for anything. She watched her companions studying further and achieving high positions. But here was Sukanya having babies and taking care of the household; time and again, there was only one thought that plagued her, "if only I had listened to my dad."

Her friends met often, and they had a group on WhatsApp. They would invite Sukanya too, but Sukanya gave them multiple excuses and did not make it for such meetings. Initially, it was because she was genuinely busy, but later on, as the years progressed, she was ashamed of how she looked. Sukanya was grossly overweight, and she had not groomed herself in years. She looked at the photos her friends posted on WhatsApp and thought, "it's good that I didn't go for the meet; each of them looks elegant and young, and look at me, I in their midst would look like their mother."

It hurt Sukanya to see some of her classmates who were so plain during their school and college days now look like fashion models. Sukanya thought, "what have I done with my life? I wish I was ambitious like them. I wish I had pursued a career." She pulled out their old photographs and thought, "In those days, I dressed the best, looked the best, and they were so plain, but now it is the other way round. I don't want them to see me like this. I will never accept their invitation to meet up."

That's when she heard the Television come on in the living room. Someone must have switched it on for her mother-in-law to watch. Sukanya was in her bedroom putting the laundry in place from where she could hear all that was said on TV loud and clear. It must have been a talk show where one woman spoke of her past and how positive thinking had changed everything for her. Sukanya kept listening to her and thought, "my story, exactly!" She went towards the door to check the channel it was on so that she could put on her TV and watch the program in her room as she folded each garment before putting it by.

But when she went closer to the TV, the woman's words she did not recognize held her in place. She was speaking about how she had slipped into self-pity, which did not help her. "That's where I am now, "Sukanya thought, "no wonder I am not progressing." And the woman continued to speak of how her life changed and the things she did and how life improved, and she now motivates others like her. Sukanya was glued to the TV. So focused was she, for the first time in years, Sukanya spent time doing something she wanted to do, and she did not feel guilty about it. 

There was one point the women stressed, take time off, give yourself some time, recognize your potential and change those parts of your life that pull you down. Sukanya had heard and made a mental note of all the women said, and slowly but surely, she adapted it all, and within six months, she had worked on her weight and appearance and got herself an online job too. 

Things started changing for her on the home front too. The members of her family started noticing the change and began complimenting her. Slowly she gained confidence, her family learned to respect her, and now she is a motivational coach with a steady following.

My word

Life can be mundane, and things can go against our plans and dreams. In moments like those, self-pity doesn't help. What helps is to swim against the tide, take stock of your failures and work to rectify them and make life better.

Liked this story? Read another one- 'Moms Have a Life Too'.