6 Essential Keys to Raising Empowered Daughters Who Are Confident & Independent

I am not a parent. But I am a daughter. So, I am going to pen down this blog based on my observations from the parents around me, my perception of what being a parent is, and what I believe would have made me more fearless, confident, and independent. I hope this helps you!

1. Shower her with Unconditional Love 

I realise you are going to do this without me telling you to do this. However, I want you to do it right. That is the reason I am mentioning it here and as the very first thing to do. Accept her completely the way she is. Her appearance, likes, dislikes, choices, and flaws. Let her write her own story. Don’t dictate her ways or question her choices. What your main role here is to make her capable of dealing with the outcomes of her life choices either way (positive or negative consequences of her choices). 

Give her the freedom to be different from the beauty standards, cooking skills standard, and every other standard that the society has pre determined for girls. The love, support, and care that she receives when she is herself unapologetically will teach and bring her confidence like nothing else.

2. Give her the Freedom to Explore all that she wants

There should be no “only for boys” phrase existing for her. As a parent, you will always have this uncontrollable urge to hold on to your little girl and protect her from everything and everyone you know that could possibly hurt her. But you have got to fight that urge and let her be if that’s her decision. Be there for her to offer kind words, hugs, and support whenever needed but don’t get in her way to explore new interests, sports, friends, and places. 

If you want her to be independent you will have to teach her to power through and get back stronger after a setback. She has to fail at certain times and learn lessons for that time and again. For she can be the daddy’s little girl or mamabear’s little genie and still conquer the world! 

3. Surround her with Great Examples of Fierce & Independent Women without comparing her with one

Comparison is one very deep rooted issue and tendency we have as humans. Don’t compare your child’s weakness with any other child’s strength. Every child is unique and special in their own way. Feed the idea of magic, miracles, and optimism in your children. Make them believe they are special, unique, and cherished. I remember watching one award acceptance speech by Taylor Swift which is imprinted on my heart where she said her parents always told her as a kid that she is special and unique. She has got that magic of a human to achieve something great. Taylor gave the message to every parent out there to tell the same to their children as she believes has achieved everything that she has because her parents made her believe that she is special.

Teach your daughter the value of hardwork and determination. Educate her about the life stories and character building of the successful women out there you admire. They will learn the importance of inner strength and encourage the same in other women around them. 

4. Let her Go For Solo Trips if she wants

Solo travelling is the biggest experience of self discovery. Solo trips can teach her independence, confidence, and so much more about her true self and life purpose. It is a must experience for all the women out there. Take care of her safety, do the needful, make her capable for a solo trip and let her go whenever she feels ready. I have a whole article written on the same which may interest you: Why Traveling Solo Before Your D-Day Would Be The Most Liberating Thing You Will Ever Do?

5. Work on her Finance Management Skills As Much You do on her Daughter in Law Skills

According to the Human Welfare Council, 62% of Indian women do not have bank accounts or have only limited access to banking services, while 80% of women in India struggle with financial literacy. Finance would always play a pivotal role in your daughter’s independence. I believe girls should be taught personal finances, wealth management, investments, stock market, crypto, and every other financial subject in very detail despite her profile or financial needs.

Financial proficiency has long been a hurdle in the independence of women. It is time we turn the tables and raise our daughters to be completely independent. A lot of women make substantial money but heavily rely on their fathers/brothers/husbands/partners for its management, investments, and savings. The same goes with other life skills daughters are made to pay less attention such as driving, strength training fitness, and voicing their opinion on anything. It is in the small gestures where you preach big life values. 

6. Don’t raise her with the constant reminder of ‘One Day a Prince Charming would choose you, marry you, and will change your life’

I am not asking you to raise her against the idea of marriage or loving a great guy. What I am emphasising here is don’t revolve her life around the idea of marriage. A lot of mothers (and in so many cases even fathers and other family members) very commonly in every household have this habit of nagging their daughters over every single action of theirs. Daughters are constantly addressed suitable and unsuitable marriage material based on how they cook, clean, dress, or even speak or laugh. 

This habit of parents subconsciously deeply nourishes her mind to be completely dependent on who she marries, where she marries, and when she marries. It may unintentionally take up a lot of mental space in her head. Imagine spending this attention and energy on something else. Your job as a parent is to raise your daughter mature and sensible enough to choose a right man and a family for her. While where parents are mastering is to constantly remind her that her marriage will be a game changer. It can make her life or break her life completely. If she will not be the ideal wife or ideal daughter in law it is not going to work. By doing this you are making her believe that the entire responsibility of making a marriage work is on her. That’s not the case. It is a partnership. 

A considerate amount of freedom will liberate her if she just doesn’t worry about one aspect of life that is marriage. Make sure you are successful as a parent to do that!

The Bottom Line

Sometimes as parents you begin to worry a lot about what your children do in their life is direct a report card of you as a parent. You will be judged for your parent skills based on your child’s actions (whether big or small doesn’t matter). I just feel if you free yourself from the burden of that idea you will be able to give so much more freedom to your children to discover who they truly are! You can do a much better job as a parent if you liberate yourself from that idea. Because an individual is not just a making of his/hers parents. An individual is an end result of all of the many influences in their life like friends, teachers, extended family, books they read, or any other form of content they consume. It is a very personal journey. You can only have a limited control over your child’s shaping as a grown adult. Give your best and surrender the rest. 

I may have on some level been partial to the part of daughters more as in comparison to the parents side. And missed some aspects on a parent level. Well, please know I am not a parent yet but only a daughter. I expect you will find a little something worth the read and worth adapting in life as you raise a daughter. May she bring you fulfilment, pride, and happiness always!