#WhyNot- Time to Trash The ‘Perfect Girl’ Standards for Outer Appearance!

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#WhyNot Being comfortable the way you are! Not living by the 'perfect girl' image.webp

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By Ruchi Sharma

‘Arre! Dekho toh kitni gori aur sundar ladki hai!’

Now that’s one most common sentence you would have heard zillion times (especially when watching a good old daily soap or a movie with relatives, and the female lead appears!). Ok! Yeah, we understand that the lady looks pretty but is it the end of the world if we can’t look exactly as if we jumped off from a top beauty magazine’s cover page? How one looks like is a gift from birth (and our role model amazing parent’s genes too!), and gifts should always be accepted wholeheartedly. World over statistics are suggesting women are increasingly shifting towards cosmetic surgeries, for example, Botox as a preventive measure in becoming common 20s^1. Even Liposuction, breast augmentation, etc. are on the rise, in foreign countries^2. In India, too it is rising, and that doesn’t sound good at all. Does it feel preachy? Well, don’t worry, it’s not a preaching article at all! It’s a jolly take on a very serious barrier almost all people, especially women, face every day of their life- trying to transform into the ‘PERFECT GIRL’ image.

Every day, be it the Miss World or the most popular daily soap heroine, when they wake up, their hair also looks like a bird’s nest (the way yours does)! Life is not always what they show on TV or in movies (Am still wondering how they wake up with properly set hair, whole make up in place and not a single wrinkle on clothes!!!). We are normal, ordinary and it’s perfectly ok to be the way you are! Each one is special, the day you treat yourself better, others will understand your point (and if they don’t it’s their problem, they lost a JEWEL like YOU!). You may want to become like your favourite celebrity, yes, go for it, pick up their good habits- like charity they involve in or positive hobbies they have- but looks should be the last on the list. Love your own body the way it is! If you enjoy going to gym or putting make up, then yes, no harm in it. But when things like putting on makeup every day, shedding weight or dressing a certain way lead to stress and unnecessary burden on your mind, STOP! It has become a toxic issue, and you need a DETOX!

Before we delve deeper, let me ask you a question, have you ever tried to google questions like- ‘how to become a perfect beautiful girl?’ or ‘how to get fairer?’. If the answer is yes, then we definitely have a message for you. And if the answer is No, then still there would have been instances where you might have felt (or made to feel) conscious about your looks! Specially, unmarried ladies here would have heard truckload of advice like- ‘Beta try turmeric sandalwood pack, gori ho jaayegi’ or ‘Arrey beta why do you wear such short clothes’ or ‘Itni naati hai yeh, who will marry such a short heighted girl?’. So, let’s move all these conversations to the trash bin and restart with LOVING OURSELVES!

Knowing it is easier said than done, here are some tips and facts that can help you take steps towards accepting the way you are, and not trying to become a ‘perfect girl’ only because of some kind of societal pressure!

Love Yourself

If you don’t love yourself, and keep demeaning your own self by constantly thinking about your flaws, then you can’t blame anyone. It will just be a vicious cycle where you keep on believing that something is wrong with your outer appearance always and never be satisfied. So, break away that chain, you are SPECIAL in your own way. Follow Geet’s advice from Jab We Met- ‘Main apni favourite hoon!’.

Don’t Lose Your Identity

Pleasing others is good but trying to become someone you are not by changing your looks or dressing will make you lose your individuality. Different is beautiful, if everyone absorbs same traits, then how will that uniqueness of yours thrive? Wear what you love and feel comfortable in and just watch how your self-confidence thrives. Not everybody has the same skin tone or hour glass figures, who knows the one you are trying to become like envies you for something you have which she doesn’t. So, count your blessings!

Stop Comparison

‘She has more beautiful hair than mine.’

‘Her skin complexion is so fair while mine is so dusky’

Chuck those thoughts away! It is the devil in your mind that’s taking away your peace. Outer beauty is totally materialistic. Love the way you are and don’t compare your looks with anyone (even your own siblings). If you want to compare, compare your achievements with your own self- how confident were you 5 years back to now, how close you are to reaching your career goals etc. Learn how you can enjoy your own company.

Treat Your Body Well

You might have weight issues and have been rebuking yourself (or getting rebuked by family and others) to shed off excess weight, but the only reason behind it should be health concerns and nothing else. Don’t let those body shaming remarks get to you. It is ok to be on the chubby side if it doesn’t hamper your health. Being chubby has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. Beauty lies beneath not on the outside. Same goes for the skin tone or for that matter any other thing. Don’t take random supplement for getting thinner or putting on weight or even getting taller. Always consult your doctor before deciding to go for anything.

Don’t Try to Make Others Accept You

Sometimes you won’t even realize how trying to reach those ‘Perfect Girl’ parameters only because someone close or around you want it, is harming your mental being. If people around you actually care for and love you, they will accept the way you are, you don’t have to change yourself. Those who don’t understand you now, if they really are your well-wishers, they will come around when they see how positive and happy you have become. If they still don’t, it shouldn’t bother you, as you are in your happy space now! Choose fellow people carefully who recognize your inner beauty.

So, let’s stop living in the superficial world! If you and the people around you love your original self, then what others say will stop affecting you. They can affect you only if you let them. There is nothing wrong with your outer looks, we all will get old someday and have wrinkles, it won’t make us less beautiful. The most beautiful women around us are our grand moms and great grand moms, right? If you have those picture-perfect looks, then you have added responsibility of making people around you feel beautiful and if not, it doesn’t make you any less pretty. So, stop judging yourself and don’t judge others too! Let’s make this world a happier place, where nothing like a role model image of ‘Perfect Girl’ exists that every girl out there would be bound to follow! Be comfortable the way you are!!!

As they say- ‘Beauty Lies in the Eyes of the Beholder!’

P.S.- Liked this one? The second blog of this amazing series is here: '#WhyNot : Women Buying Own House and Car'.

^1. nationalpost ^2. forbes