How To Make Your First Child Ready For A New Baby

By Bhumika Chitkara

A new baby comes with tremendous joy and excitement! But if it's your second pregnancy, it might come with a few challenges!The biggest challenge being- Preparing your first child for a new baby. It might be a familiar feeling for you but for your older child, it's a completely new experience, so you should expect all kinds of reactions from them! Some might show excitement while some might show absolute sadness or anger. Some might come up with a lot of questions while some might show no reaction at all. Each child is different, so it is completely normal for them to react differently. Try to prepare your child for all the new experiences before the arrival of your baby so that they get enough time to adjust to these changes.

Here’s how to prepare your older child for a new baby:

Make your child a part of this big news:

It does not matter how young or old your child is, making your first born a part of this big news is the first and the most important step! As every child is different, expect different reactions and that depends on what age group your child is in. Toddlers won't understand what it is until your belly grows so the best bet is to wait until then and once your belly starts growing, start talking to your toddler about it and let them know that there is a baby inside it. For older children, you can expect a lot of questions! Answer those questions in a way that your child would understand.

Include them in every decision you make:

Your child might feel a little left out during this beautiful journey and that's completely normal. Try to include them in every decision you make be it choosing the name or even the theme for the baby nursery. Ask them for their opinions and what they want for their new sibling! When you go out shopping, let your child pick a toy or an outfit for the baby, this will also give a sense of responsibility to them and they will feel included at all times. Tell them how good they will be with the baby and make use of sentences like, “you will be the best big sister/brother to the baby.” Tell them how they used to behave when they were newborns! Show them their baby pictures and let them know that they are going to have someone like this soon! Let them touch your belly and talk to the baby right from the beginning. 

Make all the adjustments and changes in the routine beforehand:

Arrival of a new baby can bring a lot of changes! If your older child needs to change rooms after the baby comes, try doing it before the birth as it would give your child some time to adjust to the change. Try making your child more comfortable with your relatives and friends as they might spend some days with them during your last trimester, during labour and birth or even after the baby is born. Make them realise that the routines will change after the baby’s arrival. You can even consider getting them a baby doll for practice! 

After the baby is born:

The arrival of a new baby is very special! Make this moment even special for your first born too! Let your child be the first one to see and hold the baby. Tell them how similar they look. Say, “ See, the baby looks just like you!” Let someone hold your baby for you so that you get some time to cuddle with your dear first born. When you come home with your baby, give both the babies enough time to cuddle with each other, let them hug and kiss the baby! Teach your older one to be gentle with the baby. Make use of words like ‘Our baby’ this will give a sense of inclusion to the child.

Make them a part of your nursing journey:

Breastfeeding will give you a special opportunity to bond with your baby. It will also take up the majority of your time. This might cause a feeling of jealousy in your first child, they will throw some tantrums and that is normal. Try to make them a part of this journey. Make them help you by letting them offer you some pillows or even giving you a hand while changing diapers. Plan some fun activities for your first born while you are feeding the baby. Read them stories, watch videos or play with some special toys. 

It’s okay if things are not that easy:

It is completely normal if your older child throws tantrums and or feel jealous. Encourage your child by telling them how great they are with the baby or how gentle their touch is. If you are getting new stuff for your newborn, don’t forget your older child. Have a conversation with all the visitors to pay attention to the older child also. You don’t have to divide your love between the two, just spend quality time with both your babies. Take him/her out to her favourite restaurant, parks or have a special routine with just your older child!